I have been a member of a group that use Principles as it’s container for 32 years. I have been actively participating in that for over 20 years as it took me a long time to learn how to use and apply the principles through the personalities. I am soon going to post an article about how there always has to be a “leader” but that person is not a “governor”. That person is a servant of the whole – not just of a few.
Let me break down what has already occurred so that you can see it clearly. Mary Lin and I were kicked out of the BSU Main Chat by one person using some guidelines of “BSU” that is supposedly not even in existence anymore, but this person did not use them in a transparent way – this person used them in a hidden way to meet their desired ends. This person placed their personal desires and those of their friends ahead of the principles that were formulated by a group because we were not given a warning. This person claimed they had given a general warning several months prior.
I decided to start a different group. In my statement to start a different group, I said
”We will be holding a weekly in-person meeting for everyone interested in creating a leaderless freedom community. It will meet weekly in Boulder. The day and time will be announced soon. We will be using the principles from the On Conflict and Consensus Book by CT Butler which are on p 22-26. https://intuitiveart.net/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/consensus.pdf – We will open and close with a non-denominational prayer – the prayer leader will rotate. The first meeting will set up the foundation principles where we will discuss these principles and add more if needed. We will use apophatic inquiry and the trivium to discover if we are following our principles – critical thinking. There will be a talking stick and a time limit for each person to speak. There will be a time scheduled for people who wish to practice formal debate on topics. The purpose of this group will be to create unity and community as well as to be fertile ground out of which the Creator can use us to prepare – we have 7 years before 2030. Please DM me if interested. Other ways for community organizing will be welcomed after we have established unity.”
at some point ML posted about the book by M. Scott Peck “A Different Drum” and we informally decided to include that as reading material at some point in this as many people started reading it after I posted the pdf as many people seemed to like it. That book endorses Consensus decision making.
The next announcement I sent out stated the agenda:
Announcement: SK has kindly offered his Living Room at Vali Soul after the Barter Market on July 8 to host our first meeting together. A few of us got together today and came up with a plan for this evening:
1. Opening Prayer (non-denominational)
2. Loosening up exercise
3. Set up the "talking stick" with the "time keeper" - we will have rotating leadership in this group - so each time we meet a different person will open with the prayer, be the time keeper, etc.
4. Using a talking stick and a time limit (5 min), we will discuss our experience of the trauma we have experienced over the last 3 years - using "I" statements and not naming other people by name from the community. Depending on how many people are there, we can go around more than once - but still limiting our shares to 5 minutes each round.
5. Talk about appreciation for positive things we have experienced over the last 3 years.
6. Learn together the techniques of Consensus, starting with discussing the principles on p. 22-26 to be the basis of our communication with each other.
7. Closing Prayer
The fact that SK offered his living room for this group told me that this was being given a green light. It meant that we would not be charged to use a room which saved us the extreme stress of having to collect a certain amount of money when the group barely has a clue about consensus.
The group of people that showed up on Saturday July 8th at 430 pm agreed in “informal consensus” to the above statement and the agenda proposed, because they showed up. Their showing up is proof that they agreed.
Then in the actual meeting - the group itself decided together to use Formal Consensus by CT Butler as the Author-ity of the group. This is good – that a book – written by an EXPERT on group decision making – has become the actual authority for the moment.
TJ offered to pay for 12 copies to be purchased. A made the purchase. CT Butler is still alive and ML had found his real email address and A contacted him. We were given a super good deal to purchase. You can pay Tova $10.76 for your copy.
I, and some others, have used Consensus Decision Making in the past, and also Formal Consensus Decision Making. Those of us who know how to do it are holding the container at the moment.
An informal Consensus Decision was made to attend the group under the schedule I originally set forth. Therefore that is the way it will continue until another informal Consensus Decision is put forth to change it.
We will use informal Consensus to discuss adding the principle of Privacy to the group of principles that we are originally starting with because of an issue which came up this week with people who did not attend the group asking people individually “who was there”. That will be on the top of the list for discussion this week.
“Informal Consensus” is dangerous to use with a group larger than about 5 people, unless it is made super slowly. This is because natural leaders and word mechanics can sway the people who are more quiet and the group can easily fall into a dictatorship without realizing it – especially at this new stage. My preference is that we simply keep what we have going until we get through the principles and can start studying Formal Consensus as a group and then using it.
I decided to label myself “temporary leader” so that the group does not destroy itself in the making while the group goes through it’s growing pains. I have been inundated with individual suggestions for how the group should be “run”. Let’s look at this for a moment:
Individuals have approached me with their personal experience and desires about how the group should be run.
However, we already have Consensus about how the group should be run. Many people have also told me that they enjoyed the format. We as a group do not yet know how to use Formal Consensus so I am not going to recommend making any changes to what the Group agreed to.
What we have will work – we need to examine the principles set forth on p. 22-26 and see if we have those principles in place. That will take a few weeks- to get through having a deep experience with these 9 -12 principles.
At that point, hopefully we will have some form of Unity. My original proposal stated “Other ways for community organizing will be welcomed after we have established unity.” I do not see Unity at the moment at all.
Unity – with a capital U – is discussed in M. Scott Peck’s book – which I recommend everyone read – and just ignore that he was a member of Tavistock Institute and all that. There is some great stuff in there and he talks about how community must be run by consensus.
So, I as the temporary leader, or the container, am taking the job of making sure that we stick to the consensus that the group has decided upon already.
What is the true motive of the individuals who want to suppress the shadow of the group? Who don’t like the sometimes crass humor? What is the true motive of the individuals who want to bring in their method of running a group and make a change? What is the true motive of the individuals who want to bring in their point of view on way the prayer is done?
The situation is very fragile right now – and all voices must be heard and digested and woven into the fabric of what makes a real community – that’s why we are using a tried and true method.
Or should I just play favorites with my friends and give them the right to make changes to what the group decided?
I am willing to sacrifice my friendships for the good of the Group. Principles before personalities is not always fun…