We gather all the data on the problem: (grammar)(input)
Jane lives in Veteran’s Supported Housing with roommate Dick, in Boomtown, USA. Boomtown is ridiculously expensive, but is a good place for veterans because the services are good. Dick is a formerly homeless vet with mental illness. He is a friend of the family. Jane’s “job” with him is to provide stability and med reminders. In trade, Jane gets to live in the apartment with cheap rent. Jane needs this as she has her own difficulties with making a living. The situation has been Dick and Jane helping each other for 5 years and both have gotten a lot better. Dick was humble, docile, and helpful. He stayed home a lot and did the housework while Jane went to work. He was learning to take care of himself for long periods of time alone without getting lonely.
Jane had a car accident in mid-April and has been in the hospital, rehab and then without a car for 2 months. This incident changed “the rules” of their situation without either realizing it. 3 weeks away from Dick, he went off the deep end, switching back to his street personality, hanging out with homeless people, bringing them home, doing things that were not good for the other people in the building, etc. Jane received calls from the building management and she had be the liason between them and Dick talking him into behaving himself.
With a broken bones and no car, Jane ended up staying with her also convalescing boyfriend, Ken at his house because mentally, she was not up for Dick’s craziness and she was also able to help Ken with cooking and cleaning. Jane stayed with Ken for 2 months. Dick could not take the loneliness and went off his meds for a few weeks.
Now Dick is locked into his street mode. Jane finally got a car and tried to move home but the way Dick is now started to make her crazy. Because of the 3 months healing time, Jane lost her job, so she can’t just pick up and move anywhere. Jane is staying with Ken again, but she can’t move in there – because Ken’s home is too small – and Ken, still healing himself, is not prepared for Jane to move in – although she can “stay” there, she can’t move there. What is she to do? How is she to handle Dick and the situation? No job, no income, insanity. Dick and Jane have been getting into loud fights, etc. and Jane went back to Ken’s house because Jane was starting to take it out on Ken and other people.
The Process: (logic)(process)
We used these principles which pertain to individuals working together in a group:
1. Natural Law / God is our Authority, which expresses Itself through our consciousness, expression and conscience: discussion & consensus.
2. Our common welfare is paramount but individual welfare immediately proceeds.
3. All are welcome, and need not have money or to conform. We have no other ties besides our primary association.
4. We are autonomous except when our actions interfere with others rights.
5. We have one primary purpose and we stick to that.
6. Problems of finance, property ownership, and authority are distractions from our purpose.
7. We are financially supported by the voluntary contributions of our own members.
8. We are non-professional.
9. We are an organism, not organized.
10. We have no opinion on issues which do not pertain to our primary purpose directly.
11. We attract others rather than promoting ourselves.
12. We practice humility by not seeking personal gain, instead placing principles first.
So, Jane read each principle, one after the other (Jane and her 3 friends, who know and deal with Dick also, got through 6 in an hour), and Jane let them tell her how each principle applied to the situation, and she also commented:
1. The consensus is that Jane needs to be the bigger person in this situation. When Dick yells at her and storms around, Jane is to remain calm and prayerful, remembering that she is the one who has access to God. He may be being carried in God’s Grace but she is the one who has the Power to keep her composure, so she must exercise that although it will be hard. Jane must be prayerful before she goes into the apartment. She must remain conscious and she must not react. God is the Authority, not Dick not Jane. God. This living situation is a gift from God to them, and Jane must respect that by keeping the situation calm, at least on her end. It takes 2 to fight.
2. The consensus is that the common welfare in this situation is staying homed. If things are very bad, Jane should stay in her room with the door closed. The individual welfare of each wanting to do what they want to do when they want to do it, may need to take the back seat. Dick may not be capable of that, but Jane has the flexibility to compromise. Jane must do whatever she needs to do to remain in fit spiritual condition to be able to put their being homed first as her priority, because she wants to, not because she has to. This is an inner monarchy thing not an outside law thing.
3. All may be welcome and membership may not depend on conformity, but living together requires a certain amount of conformity and money. People must conform to certain manners in order to be able to be under one roof together. And yet, it takes 2 to fight, so again the consensus is that she is to be the bigger person, and she is the one who must conform to spiritual principles of kindness, tolerance, and love, since Dick can’t at the moment.
4. Jane is autonomous, but again the consensus states that if Dick and Jane are to remain homed, Jane has to be the bigger person and put her individual desires behind her principles, and be strong, quiet, and calm in the eye of the storm –
5. They have one primary purpose – to remain homed. All Jane’s other preferences, for the moment, have to be put aside for the sake of stability until Jane can get on her feet again and possibly find a better living situation.
6. Problems of money, property and authority can distract them from their primary purpose, staying homed. God is the Authority, so no decisions in this situation should be made quickly. All decisions regarding this situation should be checked out with these people in this group that understand this situation, to provide clarity in an otherwise emotional situation - and prayerfully. Property – Jane put a lock on her door to her room and she locks her room door when she leaves, in case Dick brings people in off the street. Money – they pay their share 50/50. That takes care of that.
That’s as far as was gotten through in the hour that they had to spend on it.
But the Solution came out of the process. (rhetoric)(output)